DAY ??: THE HEART ATTACK WILL LAUNCH ME INTO SPACE, THE BEAUTY ETERNAL AS THE BLOOD SPILLS FROM MY IMPLODED CORPSE; THE STARS WILL STAY WHERE THEY ARE, THEY DON’T CARE ABOUT MY RANTINGS AND RAVINGS AND ARE UNAFFECTED BY THESE TINY LITTLE GORE EXPLOSIONS. I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING, I WANT TO SEE EVERYTHING, AND I AM, AND THE STARS DON’T CARE. I LOVE THEM. I WANT TO SEE AND HEAR AND FEEL AND TOUCH THEM TOO. I LOVE THEM AND THEY DO NOT CARE. I LOVE THEM. MY HEAD IS SPINNING.It started earlier, right? Right. I think it’s been a few weeks or months. It started some time for sure, and it will end as well. Everything does, everything will. And then it will start again later, after I turn into something else and lose all these connections. It’s not too different, though, not in the sense that I just don’t get it. If I have all the signals of ALL of you, they turn to mush. If I am disconnected from all of you, why would that be different from mush? I don’t GET it either way. I don’t GET the mush, I don’t GET the nothingness. I understand none of your forms. I marvel at their beauty sometimes and rage as well, rage at how overwhelming it is but I must revel in the rage and I must rage at the revelry and I must rage at the beauty and I must see the beauty in the rage-inducing aspects and everything, I must do everything and take in everything. And I am. I am. I see that a lot of things look the– no, EVERYTHING looks the exact same on some level. But there’s the tiniest of differences so a duplicate isn’t the same as its original either, if you clone me then my clone’s data (specifically, when he started existing) is different even if he remembers everything exactly as I do. And you’re all clones of each other and I’m clones of you and you’re clones of me and I’m clones of you, do you get it? The same goes for the stars too, just look at them: vision, hearing, touches, they’re all the same as each other. Do you understand? You do not, and I don’t either. I think my heart launched me into flight because there’s no way I am where I think I am, this is absolutely a dream and anyone who says otherwise is lying. This dream will never end.
Share this post
[3] Stars in my vision
Share this post
DAY ??: THE HEART ATTACK WILL LAUNCH ME INTO SPACE, THE BEAUTY ETERNAL AS THE BLOOD SPILLS FROM MY IMPLODED CORPSE; THE STARS WILL STAY WHERE THEY ARE, THEY DON’T CARE ABOUT MY RANTINGS AND RAVINGS AND ARE UNAFFECTED BY THESE TINY LITTLE GORE EXPLOSIONS. I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING, I WANT TO SEE EVERYTHING, AND I AM, AND THE STARS DON’T CARE. I LOVE THEM. I WANT TO SEE AND HEAR AND FEEL AND TOUCH THEM TOO. I LOVE THEM AND THEY DO NOT CARE. I LOVE THEM. MY HEAD IS SPINNING.It started earlier, right? Right. I think it’s been a few weeks or months. It started some time for sure, and it will end as well. Everything does, everything will. And then it will start again later, after I turn into something else and lose all these connections. It’s not too different, though, not in the sense that I just don’t get it. If I have all the signals of ALL of you, they turn to mush. If I am disconnected from all of you, why would that be different from mush? I don’t GET it either way. I don’t GET the mush, I don’t GET the nothingness. I understand none of your forms. I marvel at their beauty sometimes and rage as well, rage at how overwhelming it is but I must revel in the rage and I must rage at the revelry and I must rage at the beauty and I must see the beauty in the rage-inducing aspects and everything, I must do everything and take in everything. And I am. I am. I see that a lot of things look the– no, EVERYTHING looks the exact same on some level. But there’s the tiniest of differences so a duplicate isn’t the same as its original either, if you clone me then my clone’s data (specifically, when he started existing) is different even if he remembers everything exactly as I do. And you’re all clones of each other and I’m clones of you and you’re clones of me and I’m clones of you, do you get it? The same goes for the stars too, just look at them: vision, hearing, touches, they’re all the same as each other. Do you understand? You do not, and I don’t either. I think my heart launched me into flight because there’s no way I am where I think I am, this is absolutely a dream and anyone who says otherwise is lying. This dream will never end.