“Just a bit of dust,” it might seem to the cosmic giants who trade our galaxies like spare change (their hands are too huge to see and I’d rather not, I’d rather not think of them). O, they’ll never understand anything about this world until they’ve lost it. “Just a bit of dust,” what a silly thing to say about a newborn star!
Look up with me. Or ahead, or below… directions get strange around here, they only really meant anything back on Earth. Obviously up and down also mean something in any place with significant gravitational force, but Earth’s up and down have a sort of flavour to them, don’t you agree? (you don’t because you don’t know what I’m talking about because you were never on Earth, but let a nostalgic old fool have her moment)
Anyway. Look at the newly forming star, because it’ll give you the knowledge you’ll need. That’s your own birth you’re witnessing, after all. “How did you manage to show me that?” you ask. I don’t respect time much. You’ll understand when you’re older.
There’s quite a few ways to describe how you came to be. The ‘dust’, a bunch of energy frolics across space and clumps a bunch of clouds together. Hydrogen, helium, things which wouldn’t have had any names yet. Gravity made the clouds collapse (I collapse a lot too but right now, I’m here and so it’s all been worth it) and the whole thing spins. That spinning makes it all flatten, watch you twirl around before you’ve even developed a consciousness (you’re welcome for that, by the way). In the center of the commotion, all the material clumps together. There you go, a protostar. You’ll become a star soon at this rate.
Wonderful sight, right? Perhaps bizarre, since all that strange matter is you and the passage of time is being very strange (again, I don’t have any respect for time), but still fascinating. I wanted to show you this so you would contemplate
Let’s be honest, you’re an uncaring and vicious thing. And that’s not too bad. Most of us are quite callous when it comes to anything, anything outside of a very tiny sphere of interests. Callous to anything we don’t love, willing to hurt and hurt unless there’s a good reason not to do so.
My telescope is like one of the big eyes of a sweet child, asking you where room 185 is or asking you to look at something or help with something, or asking you what you think of death. “I think a lot of death,” is the answer. I think she’s a strange yet gorgeous figure. What’s it like to hear her voice? What’s it like to do her grim duty? How does it feel, does she feel? I’ll understand when I’m older (not that I have much time left).
I love you a lot. I need you to know this. I love you so much. You’re going to outlive me, as will everyone else I love. Yes, even the other humans I love will outlive me, and you’ll outlive them because you’re a star, although maybe they will come visit to bring stories of me and themselves and of you and just anything, anything, and perhaps all of us will be alive in your memory.
I love you. Sit back and continue watching your birth. A beautiful, beautiful star… I love you, I love you. I love you very much.
This is a re-run of an old flash fiction from January 2023. Back then I had some lore for some big cosmic giants — most of whom had bodies shaped like birds (formed from the galaxies; yes, the galaxies & stars were also their currency) — and these giants were in the background of an episodic series called Travellers on a Train. Maybe I’ll get back to it some day. It’s not the only serialized or episodic series I’ve put on the backburner. I think I’ll bring it back as a comic series when I do bring it back. It’ll be after a different story though, which is Toxic Sludge Fountain, which is serialized (episodes are not self-contained).
What else to say? I’m doing great and also got another concussion (5th one of my life, 1st one of my 20s), but that’s super chill. I’m writing this on 22 April and the concussion was yesterday, so by the time you see this it’s chill. I’ll still be in the middle of my internship by this time. Also doing some more writing, hopefully for TSF and also a short story which I can send out for publishing somewhere (once I complete it). That and a lot of art and animation and I’ve got so many plans and thoughts racing etc etc.
Anyway: The 2nd new flash fiction of the month will be up on 23 May. The 1st new flash fiction actually has 3 versions. Pick any of the versions to read, let’s say version [2]. Then you can read version [1] or version [3]. Whichever order you want. I’d recommend taking a gap between the reads, the difference is just in the sequence of paragraphs. Sequences and time being a bit fucky and all is the theme.